Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You need a sexual gate keeper
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
