Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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