what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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