You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
