the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
