how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
