8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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