I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
