Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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