its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
