I cockslap morals
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
