you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
