Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
