I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
