Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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