so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
