He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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