It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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