he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
We have so much sex to catch up on
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
