what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
