There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
