Dual....:-)
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
