Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
