i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
