Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
