4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize
