I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
