There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
