My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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