I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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