I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
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