gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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