Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
this hospital has no fireball
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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