he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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