He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
