Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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