she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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