Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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