hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
