How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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