It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
