I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I wish there were birth control emojis
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
