Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
We just shotgunned beers for America
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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