I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
