youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
