Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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