there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
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