This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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