Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
