just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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