she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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